Coworker 1: Your car is older than my kid!
Coworker 2: Your car is older than my marriage!

Hi all,

Hope you're all doing well this evening.

It's springtime, and the geese have come back from hiding out from the wintertime to hang out at the office parking lot. It gets so bad that you have to watch where you step when you're going from the car to the office building. It's especially bad after the weekend, because the geese have their 3 day continuoous rave when nobody is around and just use the entire parking lot as a big giant public toilet.

Grossed out yet?

I usually park on the side of the building that's furthest away from the entrance - It's the only area that offers shade in the late afternoon so I don't have to get into a super hot car in the summertime. And, well, old habits die hard, so I just continue to part there during the rest of the year too. Except in the winter, when I try to park closer :)

Anyway, so on the side of the building where I park, there's usually geese hanging out - Not sure why. They just hang out there like high school kids at the mall. No real purpose. I think they dine there once in a while maybe. Maybe use the toilet too. So yes, it is just like high school kids.

So you're wondering what my problem is, right? They're minding their own business, I should do the same, right? That's the thing - the geese hiss at you. Like I'm trying to stalk them for dinner or something. In reality, I'm just trying to get to my car so I get the hell home.

So I have this secret fear that one day, the geese are going to hang out and chill around my car...

And I won't be able to get into my car and leave. Because they're hissing at me.

(shudder)

Could you imagine what my call to security would be like?

Me: Ummm, I need some help
Security: What's the problem?
Me: Well, I can't get to my car...
Security: Why?
Me: There are geese surrounding my car and I can't get to it!
Security: (laughing) What would you like us to do?
Me: Can you come by and scare them or something?
Security: Aww hell no - Those things hiss!

(or something like that)

So my coworkers and I were crossing the street, talking about my goose fear (and laughing, of course).

Coworker 1: Don't you have a panic button on you alarm or something?
Me: (laughing) Umm, no, my car is old. It doesn't even have an alarm.
Coworker 2: Come on, how old can your car be?
Me: It's a 1992 :)

Well, you know the rest - Just read the first two lines of this blog entry.

I mean come on, the supaflyride doesn't even have power windows or locks. (shrug)

Unfortunately, I'm not like my coworkers who only drive around cars from last year or nothing older than this decade :)

-Kirk