Come get some.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well.

I don't know if it's because of the humidity or the plants, but there seems to be an ant problem in the kitchen. I mean, I'm all cool with bugs and stuff, just as long as they're outside the house...

So after seeing a few haul ass around the floor while I was trying to smash them, I was quite annoyed. Besides moving fast, they were giving me a complex. It wasn't like in the movies where they were travelling in a big line carrying picnic baskets, fruit, sandwiches and whatnot, but I was starting to become a little paranoid, looking wherever I stepped in the kitchen.

So it had to stop.

I went to Target after work to pick up one thing (which turned into 4 or 5 but that's ok - that's the Target way, right?), and standing in the pesticides and fertilizer aisle, I vowed to fight back against the huge ants (did I mention they were huge?).

So I bought these crazy ant things. They look like fancy little contemporary domes with holes in them. So I figure it was like the the Hotel California where ants check in, but they can't leave, right?

Wrong. (that's why I didn't call them "traps")

Apparently they're actually more like ant restaurants.

Where the take-out kills you.

Along with your homies.

And hopefully the queen.

What's supposed to happen is an ant comes to get some food (that is laced with some not so yummy poison) and takes it back to his hood, where everyone eats. Well then you know the rest...

So I opened up 4 of these restaurants of death, in the nice parts of the kitchen (uptown). Good location too. Hopefully easy access from ant paths everywhere.

Shhh! Be vewy vewy quiet...

Oh yeah, one sidenote. The ant restaurants smell like beef. (seriously). I guess a flashing sign that says, "eat at Kirk's" wasn't enough.

-Kirk