Faking it.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this evening. It's finally a cooler evening, so can't complain about that.

This morning I was driving to work, and I was behind a Jeep that had a sign on it - It was for pet grooming services or something like that. The name was rather cheeseball, that's why I noticed - Although now that I try to remember what it is, I don't.

Oh well, so much for the cheeseball name. Furry something...

But that wasn't my point. The services advertised were kind of like a pet spa, if you will - So it was like grooming, walking, and massage.

Yes, it advertised pet massage.

What the hell is that?

I mean seriously. Pet massage? For Fido the dog or Fluffy the cat? Come on.

I can see the service need for someone coming to your house to walk the dog, or do the whole grooming thing. If you're busy and you've got a busy schedule, it kinda makes sense. But the whole pet massage is a little bit much.

• Is there a certification process for a pet massage therapist?
• Can I get in on this action?
• Do they play Enya songs and relaxing sounds during the massage too?
• Will he/she massage any type of pet, say, a gerbil? A goldfish, perhaps?

I think the fine line between master and pet is definitely blurred. So let me get this straight. If I have a dog and we go on a walk, I have to pick up its shit immediately after it's pooped and then carry it around with me in a bag for the rest of the walk? And, on top of that, I pay for my pet to get a rub down that I will never really know if it actually enjoyed it or not?

I guess that's why this person was driving a Jeep Grand Cherokee and I'm just driving a 13 year old Toyota.

Anyway...

I guess I'm kind of in a ranty mood today.

So as if automated phone systems weren't annoying enough (press 1 if you want x, press 2 if you want y...), the fine people that make these systems have taken it to a new level of annoyance.

Now you must speak your selection.

What ever happened to the good old days when I could make personal calls from work and navigate through an automated phone system without anyone knowing?

Now people think i'm crazy when all of a sudden when I say random things like, "yes" or "billing questions" or "report a problem."

Two days ago we had a power outage so I was trying to report it to the utility company. I had to verify my address and for some reason, the service wasn't recognizing my responses...

So it would say my address and ask if it was correct. I'd say, "yes."

Then it would tell me it didn't get my response. So, the system repeats my address and ask if it was correct.. I'd say "yes."

By the third time I was starting to get impatient so I just started saying, "yes" over and over with increasing intensity until finally it got my response...

Let's just say I'm glad I wasn't at work.

-Kirk