Faking it.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this evening. It's finally a cooler evening, so can't complain about that.

This morning I was driving to work, and I was behind a Jeep that had a sign on it - It was for pet grooming services or something like that. The name was rather cheeseball, that's why I noticed - Although now that I try to remember what it is, I don't.

Oh well, so much for the cheeseball name. Furry something...

But that wasn't my point. The services advertised were kind of like a pet spa, if you will - So it was like grooming, walking, and massage.

Yes, it advertised pet massage.

What the hell is that?

I mean seriously. Pet massage? For Fido the dog or Fluffy the cat? Come on.

I can see the service need for someone coming to your house to walk the dog, or do the whole grooming thing. If you're busy and you've got a busy schedule, it kinda makes sense. But the whole pet massage is a little bit much.

• Is there a certification process for a pet massage therapist?
• Can I get in on this action?
• Do they play Enya songs and relaxing sounds during the massage too?
• Will he/she massage any type of pet, say, a gerbil? A goldfish, perhaps?

I think the fine line between master and pet is definitely blurred. So let me get this straight. If I have a dog and we go on a walk, I have to pick up its shit immediately after it's pooped and then carry it around with me in a bag for the rest of the walk? And, on top of that, I pay for my pet to get a rub down that I will never really know if it actually enjoyed it or not?

I guess that's why this person was driving a Jeep Grand Cherokee and I'm just driving a 13 year old Toyota.

Anyway...

I guess I'm kind of in a ranty mood today.

So as if automated phone systems weren't annoying enough (press 1 if you want x, press 2 if you want y...), the fine people that make these systems have taken it to a new level of annoyance.

Now you must speak your selection.

What ever happened to the good old days when I could make personal calls from work and navigate through an automated phone system without anyone knowing?

Now people think i'm crazy when all of a sudden when I say random things like, "yes" or "billing questions" or "report a problem."

Two days ago we had a power outage so I was trying to report it to the utility company. I had to verify my address and for some reason, the service wasn't recognizing my responses...

So it would say my address and ask if it was correct. I'd say, "yes."

Then it would tell me it didn't get my response. So, the system repeats my address and ask if it was correct.. I'd say "yes."

By the third time I was starting to get impatient so I just started saying, "yes" over and over with increasing intensity until finally it got my response...

Let's just say I'm glad I wasn't at work.

-Kirk

The mysteries of black in the summer.

Hi all,

Hope you're having a good weekend.

Today's weather has been pretty much a repeat of yesterday. So it's freakin hot outside. And humid. For those of you that aren't from the Michigan area, how do I describe it?

OK, so the next time you're drying your laundry in the clothes dryer, open the door and stick your head in when it's 1/4 of the way through the cycle.

I'm serious.

That hot humid feeling? It's like that, but all over.

So here's an observation from today - I was in Ann Arbor visiting Drew. And we see this whole group of kids walking along the sidewalk, all wearing black.

I'm talking t-shirts, tanktops, and shorts. Some had black socks, but that's a topic for a whole different blog entry.

So I've never really understood wearing black in the summertime. Especially outside. Ok ok, black pants are marginally allright. But like black t-shirts and tanktops?

Isn't the whole idea of wearing a t-shirt or tanktop to stay cool?

I dunno, maybe these people know something that I don't.

-Kirk

It's freakin hot outside.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing on this hot, humid weekend.

My adjustment to non-student status is going ok. Once in a while I still have those anxiety attacks of feeling like I need to get schoolwork done before my Thursday class. And then feeling like I need to crank out some documents for my final project.

I'll feel better once grades are posted, I'm sure.

So what's been going on as of late...

I'm still feeling the after effects of stying up late during the last week of school. I'd get to work, and feel like I'm ready for a nap in the late morning and early afternoon. Not that I've been going to sleep at a regular time recently but still.

My mom came home from the homeland this morning at 6:00 a.m. She ended up taking the same flight from LAX that I took in December.

I have just been existing and taking up space today at home. It's too hot to go outside, and the motivation level is low. I'm feeling tired too. Like I could use a nap.

I think I'm still decompressing from school.

Yesterday my mom called me from Los Angeles to let me know what flight she was taking home. I was at home (honest), and told her that I'd be around if she wanted to call back. I had to run out and get some groceries and (while I was out) do some extra shopping, so the next time she called, I was at my favorite store, Target.

I was trying to keep it on the downlow, but my cover was blown when someone came over the store loudspeaker (which usually never happens) and makes some sort of announcement. It sounded like I was in the airport.

So my mom asks, "What are you doing?"

Busted.

Oh well. I picked up some nifty stuff at Target and Marshall Field's though. Field's was having some kick ass sales.

So I've replaced school with shopping.

On Thursday, for the first time ever (I think), I went out to the bar after work for happy hour.

And there was this woman there that was as into cars as I was. Seriously. She even shared the same BMW 3 series love that I have. Although she actually lives the dream - she's got a mid 90s coupe that is in immaculate condition.

She would have had me at "hello" if her car had a manual transmission though.

Seriously though, I don't know how people meet others at a bar. It's just so damn noisy.

-Kirk

Fame

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this evening.

So I was watching some television this evening and I saw the commercial for Brad Pitt's new movie at least 2 or 3 times.

I was thinking that it must suck breaking up with someone that's in the media all the time.

For instance, does Jennifer A cringe every time she sees Brad's movie trailer on TV? Does she shut the TV off or change the station?

It's hard enough breaking up with someone and then being reminded of them once in a while. But having an ex that's an actor or a musician is a totally different level of pain.

-Kirk

School's out.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this weekend.

Yes, it's finally true. School's out.

Forever.

I know, I know. I'm sure some people won't believe it's true for me - but I'm serious this time :)

It's been a year and a half. Looking back it wasn't so bad. It just sucked going through it, that's all...

My last final was Thursday. It wasn't my best final exam performance, but that's ok. The cheesy project fair was yesterday. All in all, I'd say everything went pretty well. I really can't complain.

Although I must say, the end was very anti-climactic. I guess that's what the graduation ceremony's for, huh?

Anyway, I'm very verly glad to be done. Yesterday after I came home, I lightly cleaned around the house. And then I really cleaned today. My mom is coming home on Friday and the place was a mess. It gave me flashbacks of college.

I'm in love witih my microfiber dust cloth. It kicks ass.

So the big question is, now what?

I can play Playstation without guilt.
I can watch movies without guilt.
I can just sit and do nothing.

I may even get all crazy and start reading a book. Not because I have to, but for shits and giggles.

This new freedom feels rather odd.

Thanks to everyone that has supported me throughout my school career this time around. And of course, thanks for listening to me bitch about school :)

-Kirk

Come get some.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well.

I don't know if it's because of the humidity or the plants, but there seems to be an ant problem in the kitchen. I mean, I'm all cool with bugs and stuff, just as long as they're outside the house...

So after seeing a few haul ass around the floor while I was trying to smash them, I was quite annoyed. Besides moving fast, they were giving me a complex. It wasn't like in the movies where they were travelling in a big line carrying picnic baskets, fruit, sandwiches and whatnot, but I was starting to become a little paranoid, looking wherever I stepped in the kitchen.

So it had to stop.

I went to Target after work to pick up one thing (which turned into 4 or 5 but that's ok - that's the Target way, right?), and standing in the pesticides and fertilizer aisle, I vowed to fight back against the huge ants (did I mention they were huge?).

So I bought these crazy ant things. They look like fancy little contemporary domes with holes in them. So I figure it was like the the Hotel California where ants check in, but they can't leave, right?

Wrong. (that's why I didn't call them "traps")

Apparently they're actually more like ant restaurants.

Where the take-out kills you.

Along with your homies.

And hopefully the queen.

What's supposed to happen is an ant comes to get some food (that is laced with some not so yummy poison) and takes it back to his hood, where everyone eats. Well then you know the rest...

So I opened up 4 of these restaurants of death, in the nice parts of the kitchen (uptown). Good location too. Hopefully easy access from ant paths everywhere.

Shhh! Be vewy vewy quiet...

Oh yeah, one sidenote. The ant restaurants smell like beef. (seriously). I guess a flashing sign that says, "eat at Kirk's" wasn't enough.

-Kirk

7 days.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well and are having a nice weekend.

I've been feeling like a hermit as of late. Always hunched over looking at the computer. Never going out. My hair is long.

Once this school thing is done, I'm going to have to adjust back to "regular person" mode.

Kind of like a criminal adjusting back to life outisde the prison once he gest out.

-Kirk

Rain good.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well. Just finished the 2nd to last class, so life is definitely looking up. School will be over soon. The finish line is in sight.

It's raining. And I'm very happy that it's raining. The grass needs it badly.

We've been having these crazy storms here and there are the area, but there's a rain shield of some sort over the house. I've heard people talk at work about how much rain they've been getting.

We got nothin'

I even skipped a carwash this week cause I thought I'd get a natural wash from Mother Nature.

It's still not a ton of rain, but at least it's some.

-Kirk

The machine is sucking my brain.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well. Just a quick note for today.

This morning I went to my semi-annual dental appointment at hte dream sequence office. I am really becoming quite comfortable going there now, so I'm learning to take in more of the ambience.

I had the first appointment of the day, so there were significantly less people in the office at the time. But I was able to park super close and be greeted by the dentist himself, who was outside watering the plants.

Nifty, huh?

Anyway, so 2 things.

My shapeshifting dental hygenist, S, looked totally different today (like usual). I've been to the dream sequence dental office like 4 or 5 times now, and I swear, she looks different every time.

The staff always call her the same name, so I'm fairly certain it's the same person.

She was significantly less chatty today so I was kind of bummed. Usually I'm trying to say stuff back to her while she's got her hands and tools in my mouth.

Anyway, "for insurance purposes" they took this 270 degree xray of my mouth-region. It was more than 180 degrees, because I got to see from one side of the jaw, all the way around to the other side.

But this machine was kind of neat and creepy at the same time. It made noises like some high tech spaceship. Like air lock noises and whatnot. And then once the xray started, it was all robotic and stuff, and moved its robotic arm all around my head (and back again). They made me take off my glasses so I couldn't really see what was going on, but there was this black panel that floated around me (I'm guessing the xray film was in there).

So I'm just kind of in awe at the whole experience and then I had a thought...

Maybe this machine was sucking out my brain. Either that or I was killing brain cells by bombarding them with x rays.

So I began to feel dizzy :)

Anyway, that's all. Just thought I'd share.

-Kirk

Maybe plants have nine lives too.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well.

I'm happy to say that this weekend has been good. I've been able to accomplish a unch of what I wanted to - I've gotten my project coded and it actually works. I can't believe it.

So I'm ok. I just have to apply the graphic design, get my documentation together, and create my presentation display.

Yes, presentation display. If you're picturing elementary school science project, you're right on the money. The cheesy freestanding trifold type cardboard variety. Although now, for an "upgrade" you can spring a few extra bucks and get the foam core one. It didn't help that on the back of the display, it has a link to a website for Cool Science Projects or something like that.

I didn't see the value add with the foam core so I got the regular one (figures).

All I need now is my volcano model, baking soda, and vinegar and I should be all set.

Anyway, enough about school.

So while my mom's away, I'm in charge of her plants again. And like usual, I'm always afraid of under or overwatering her plants. She gave me specific instructions to water them once a week.

So I've been the good son and have been diligently watering all of her plants for the past few weeks while she's away, right?

3 weeks later I found one that I forgot to water.

In my defense, it was hanging from the ceiling and I totally didn't see it because it wasn't in the "area."

So this poor plant was bad. I'm talking crispy leaves, dead flowers hanging down, etc. A pretty sorry site.

So I watered the hell out of it.

You know what? It's not so bad. It bounced back, minus a few leaves here and there :)

Yesterday morning I saw another plant, same story (but I'd been watering this one, honest!) I revived it and it's good as new (again, minues a few leaves and flowers).

Maybe she won't notice.

-Kirk

Bringing out the Led.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this weekend.

Today was a beautifl day in the neighborhood and I actually got a chance to get outside for once.

I chilled outside for about an hour, then had to go back inside after feeling guilt. My goal for this weekend is to finish up the technical portion of my final project. And so far, it looks like it may actually happen :)

Of course, there's always going to be the administrative crap, like getting my display ready, creating a binder, etc. What fun.

So like usual, I've gotten tired of the radio stations that I listen to around town and started to branch off into other genres. This time, it's Led Zeppelin.

I've heard very many good things about the group - I've just never actually listened to their music. So a coworker recently hooked me up with a few discs from one of the band's box sets.

So far, it's been interesting. The songs are significantly longer (more time for guitar and organ solos), and I keep on hearing bits and pieces of of other songs here and there. It's kind of hard to explain, but there are some sequences of songs that remind me of other songs that I've heard (or vice versa).

So that's my culture for the month.

2 weeks left and then I'm done with school. For good.

-Kirk