Still no answer

Hi all,

Another blog entry because I feel like it tonight.

A few things have been on the mind as of late. Ever since last weekend I took my leap (and never really found out how exactly I landed), it's hard to say (in retrospect) whether or not I feel better off than before. Obviously there's a huge missing piece in the equation, but I fear that I will never get the answer (without prodding).

It's odd when you can feel so comfortable with someone, feel like you can pretty much tell them anything, except how you actually feel about them.

And everything comes to a point where you want them to play a larger part in your life, and you want to play a larger part in theirs.

But something's still missing.

And I told her that I didn't want things to change if the outcome wasn't exactly what I wanted. Am I going to look back at all of this and think that I shouldn't have done or said anything? Just enjoyed what I had?

I still don't think I would have been happy.

-Kirk

The death of the can opener

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this evening.

Today I'm putting the can opener on the endangered kitchen tool list.

Slowly but surely, the can opener is becoming extinct. This tried and true tool is now being replaced by the more convenient pull tab lid where no tools are needed. I fear that the younger generations will never experience the fear of accidentally slicing body parts open, or the desperation of finding a can of something when you're really hungry, but no can opener.

Kids have it so easy nowadays.

-Kirk

Random stuff.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this weekend.

Let's see, what's been going on this past week...

Chinese class has been going ok. I didn't practice my pronunciations all week except for Wednesday night (night before class). So I've already begun to be a bad student.

And it's only the 2nd class.

I'm sure 8 week session will be over before I know it. The 3 hour classes don't ever seem to drag, so it turns out to be pretty enjoyable.

Friday I saw Last Holiday. Hmmm... It was just ok, but not too clever - There were some some good takeaways (i.e., lessons learned) and some funny parts, but the movie dragged at times. Unfortunately, it felt longer than the published 112 minute running time, which is never a good thing.

An interesting thing that I found out on Thursday - Last Hoiday is actualy a remake of a movie (of the same name) from the 1950s. I'd be curious to see that one, I think. From the IMDB link, it looks like the original movie was able to tell the complete story in 88 minutes...

Finally, just to spice things up, we watched Scream. Now this was a pretty good suspenseful horror movie, twisted storyline, with an unexpected (and odd) ending. But a few things. Instead of being scared, I started laughing during some of the "scary" scenes. And, what was the deal with the characters at the end? Why didn't they just die already?

If only I made movies...

-Kirk

Door number 2

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this evening.

No matter how much clever pre-planning I do, no matter how well I construct sentences in my head to use later, it just never comes out right.

I think a 5th grader could have approached the topic better.

Taking my own advice, I asked the question that's been weighing heavily on my mind as of late.

I really didn't want to - there just never seems to be that "perfect moment." Plus, I'm a total wuss when it comes to asking the real questions that matter in relationships.

But I had to eventually take my own advice. I recently told someone that when you do stuff (especially when it comes to relationships) you have to do the things / make the choices that won't make you say, "I wish I would have done..." when you look back.

I was really enjoying what I had. But typical human nature, I wanted more.

I wanted to see what was behind door number 2.

I never got a response. I'm not sure I ever will. Inside, I'm pretty sure I already know the answer.

Nobody can say I didn't try, right?

-Kirk

Melvis

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this weekend.

So there's this guy at work, right? His name is pronounced very closely like one of the upper managers. When you listen to the name spoken, it just has an extra consonant attached at the end of his name.

I was thinking that it probbaly is not very much fun. You'd have to hear everyone specially enunciate your name (or be asked to always repeat it).

It's like if your name happened to be "Melvis."

Saturday started out sucky but turned out to be quite nice. Unfortunately I got a call in the morning and had to do a few hours of work during the day.

Bleh.

I was up pretty late, so I'm kind of dragging arse today.

I saw The Terminal and What Lies Beneath last night. Both were pretty good.

I liked The Terminal - it was cute. I'm a little disappionted that Tom Hanks didn't get the girl (Catherine Zeta Jones) at the end, but hey, sometimes that happens, right? It's more of the experience along the way...

Or something like that.

What Lies Beneath wasn't bad either. It's not my usual genre of movie, so it was a nice change of pace.

-Kirk

You good?

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this morning...

Just a recap from the past few days I guess... It's a tad late so please bear with me.

Thursday was the first day of my Chinese Mandarin class. The class was 3 hours - Luckily, it didn't drag and seem to last forever. I started becoming a clock watcher about 2.5 hours into the class, but for the most part it was very enjoyable. I'm actually learning how to pronounce stuff properly for a change, instead of just trying to imitate other people.

Overall, I think all the pinyin sounds (mandarin phonics translated into english) are going to be hard to master.

Luckily my mom can help me pronounce stuff if I need to.

Anyway, one of my fears did come true - I'm the only asian in the class. Oh well.

What else... I think I've officially turned into an old and crusty guy. I really wanted to leave the TGI Friday's restaurant after being there for about an hour or so.

It was just too damn loud.

Plus I was getting tired of trying to strain and hear the people that I was with. Where did we end up going for dessert where I felt the most comfortable?

The Man's coffee shop.

Nice and quiet, it was just what I needed after a day of noisiness.

-Kirk

"Research"

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this evening.

So instead of just being an ignorant hater, I've been doing some television research... I wanted to see what the buzz was all about.

Last night I watched about 20 minutes of the Bachelor. I'm not proud of it. But like I said, I didn't want to just be a hater and just blindly diss on it. 20 minutes was all I could take.

But now I'm (slightly) educated and can diss.

So ok - I want to know how much of the dude's lines are scripted, and how much are his own words. Seriously, he's gotta be coached somewhat by the show producers, right? You know, to make sure he sounds like Mr. Suave, to stall enough for the proper suspense, to make sure he says the right things to make the laides swoon, etc.

Again, I'm not just hatin'. I'm just jealous that I don't get to be in his shoes.

Anyway, what else...

I watched a good port of the American Idol premiere today. I like watching the beginning of the season - When the judges are doing the mass eliminations.

Good stuff.

All in all, it make s for good conversation, I guess.

-Kirk

Mandarin isn't just oranges anymore.

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this evening.

I was looking through the continuing education catalog for some interesting stuff to take - Part of my whole doing something different kick.

My first choice was a creative writing course - Unfortunately I think it got cancelled because it doesn't show up in the online catalog anymore (it did a few days ago).

So I was thumbing through the paper copy of the catalog, considered taking an investing course, a yoga course, and something to do with a psychic, until I landed on....

Beginner's Mandarin Chinese.

So yes, for shits and giggles, I'm now officially registered to take an 8 week course in learning how to speak and be conversational in Mandarin. There's going to be some instruction about culture thrown in for good measure. I'm going back to my roots and keeping it real.

I just know I'm going to get funny looks on the first day of class.

My ancestors are smiling down on me right now.

-Kirk

Memoirs of a G

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this morning.

I got the Memoirs of a Geisha soundtrack after seeing the movie - It's quite good. You can't go wrong with John Williams, Yo-Yo Ma and Itzhak Perlman.

You'd have to see the movie to fully appreciate the soundtrack though.

I really enjoyed the movie as well - some parts were a little umm, odd, but it was a great story and provided interesting insight into the whole geisha thing. (and no, sadly I didn't read the book).

The love story was very sweet as well. And everyone can appreciate a good love story.

Even though it was a little Celine Dion-esque.

-Kirk

Filtered or raw?

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this evening.

To some extent, we're all actors in our everyday lives. We put on a facade and hope nobody notices what's really underneath.

Sometimes we hide hurt. Sometimes we hide fear. Sometimes we hide our insecurities.

I don't know if Ive fallen for the character or the actress.

-Kirk

Unplugged

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well.

It's been a while since I've written because I'm going through an "unplugged" phase. Recently I've used the internet very lightly during non-work hours. My inbox has a bunch of unopened and unanswered messages.

I think I'm having an in between quarter life and midlife crisis.

Either that or I'm becoming a troll.

Maybe I'm just now experiencing the effects of turning 30. Like I still have much, much more to experience, see and do.

I just have to get off my arse.

Have you ever seen that commercial for the Air Force? I don't recall the exact wording they use, but in it, they ask the question, if someone were to write a book about your life, would anyone read it?

(again, not exact words, but that was my takeaway)

I'm a little embarrassed to say that I don't think my book would be much of a bestseller. And I don't think I'd read it. Don't get me wrong - I've done a fair amount. But my history is a little on the safe and protected side. And now I'm in a rut.

That's 10 feet deep.

I need a rut removal service. Badly.

So, I am going to be motivated this year and try to get out and do "more stuff" this year. And that is my New Year's resolution. There, I've said it. Oh yeah, I'm going to try and do "more stuff" that makes a difference too.

I just have to figure out what exactly "more stuff" means to me. I'll let you know. And you'll have to give me crap if I don't tell you.

Let's see, what else has been going on...

I think I'm going to stop watching music videos in the morning. I knew I had enough when VH1 played the Mariah Carey and the Kelly Clarkson song right after each other.

(sigh). It was good while it lasted.

Last Saturday, mother nature and the event scheduling powers that be were pissed at me and my plans for full disclosure were preempted. An evening that started out very well at the movies turned into a craptastic 2 hour drive (to go one mile) where we got separated, followed by me getting totally lost for another hour. Plus my mobile phone battery died too, so that was that.

Maybe it was a sign.

-Kirk

Music videos in the morning

Hi all,

Hope you're having a good evening.

This past Monday (when I was on vacation) I was having trouble sleeping in (heh) so I started watching some TV. And guess what.

VH1 and MTV show music videos in the morning. Imagine that.

I watched a good 2 hours of music videos, just switching back and forth between the channels. It was pretty nice cause I got to catch up on some recent videos. Unfortunately the music videos have the same issue as radio. I heard / watched Kelly Clarkson's Because of you pretty much 2x an hour, and then I heard / watched Mariah Carey sing her air blown video tune (I forget what it's called now).

So now that's my every morning ritual. I think it takes me longer to get ready now.

-Kirk

See you next year, Man's Tree

Hi all,

Hope you're doing well this gloomy morning / afternoon (it's almost noon).

Today we took dowh the Man's Christmas Tree. If it weren't for the ornaments, angel and garland, the tree disassembly would have taken less than 15 minutes. The hardest part was trying to get everything to fit back into the box :)

-Kirk

P.S. Just for the record "The Man's" isn't refering to the one keeping us down. It's cause the tree was so easy to set up / take down, and it was cheap. :)

Happy New Year!

Hi all,

Hope you're having a great start to the new year and you're doing well.

Kind of a slow night for me - I was watching tv and then I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was 12:06 a.m. (ish) and the new year had already started.

Oh well.

In my usual annual tradition, I've changed the look of the site to keep things fresh. Hope you like it. This whole customization thing is starting to require more skill (and patience) than I currently have, so I pretty much used a template and just bumped down the text size a little so it looked a little less like the large print edition.

Although now I think the text may be too small...

Anyway, so a few things today...

I can't believe I've been sticking to my blog and writing in it (fairly regularly) since 2002. I wonder if I'll ever go back and read some of the stuff that I wrote. (shrug) Reading a little history and learning from it never hurt, right?

Last night I saw M and her husband J. We cruised the shopping mecca (the toity side) and I got to see how rich people shop. It's quite impressive indeed.

We were in the Bang & Olufsen store checking out the wares and we got split up. I was towards the back looking at a system and M was towards the front. All of a sudden, music starts just blasting at full volume - It was Outkast's I like the way you move. The music was clear and sounded great - The subs were pumpin and you could hear it throughout the store (I'm sure outside of it too).

Immediately M looks over and thinks it's me. :)

I must have some sort of reputation for listening to loud rap music. Heh. But seriously, for once, it totally wasn't me - I was framed! It was the yucky salesguy in the semi-enclosed home theater area trying to make a sale by playing loud rap music for an a little bit past-middle aged Caucasian couple.

See something wrong with this picture?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying middle aged Caucasians don't listen to rap music. I actually hope they do. But I'm just playing the odds. I'm guessing the sales guy got that reaction as well so then he whipped out and played the Norah Jones CD.

That's when I had to go have a listen :)

But again, yucky salesguy had it all wrong. You can't really blast Norah Jones. Her music's just not meant to be played that way. Plus he had some weird sound thing going on so the music didn't sound right (even though he was raving about it the entire time).

Anyway...

I also got to see my first pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes. I didn't try any of them on (heh), nor did I see what all the fuss was all about. (shrug)

But hey, everyone has to have a vice right? Shoes are definitely not one of mine.

The sun finally came out to visit today. I'm very happy.

Best wishes to everyone for a kickass 2006. :)

-Kirk